"Mommy Blogging"
I've realized that I'm writing this blog because uninterrupted adult conversations do not exist in real life. Real life is disjointed and expansive. There's always something to attend to--a child, a spill, a phone call, a form, all those mundane, necessary details of real life. Writing here is so deliciously self-absorbing it almost feels illicit. I'm missing sleep for it.
Anyway another Mother's Day has passed by pleasantly, and I wonder if that is why I am not keen on that holiday. So many pleasantries. Motherhood reduced to platitudes. When I look around at my family and friends, I see that motherhood is complicated and conflicted. There may be more peer/media pressure on mothers now, but I don't think our mothers had any less difficulty in navigating this fraught love. All children have the same relentless need for intense physical, emotional, mental, spiritual care, and every mother has to figure out how to meet that universal yet unique need and how to let go at the same time. There is nothing about this that is easy.
There are so many parenting books and disciplines. So many ways that people are reliving and improving their own childhoods really. I think you can apply a lot of labels to my parenting style. But I don't think that anyone should aspire to someone else's life. We actually only catch snippets from other people's lives. See their homes after it's been cleaned for company. Observe obedient children not in their natural habit. Or encounter an unkind tone, a frazzled moment. We are prone to judgements with limited information. And there is no actual solution to childhood. We just live through it, our own and our children's, hopefully with love and grace.
So, for Mother's Day and every day, I wish you grace. Grace for wishing that your kids would leave you alone for a minute. Grace for not organizing your life so that you have some semblance of adult time. Grace for not paying attention to your children at all times. Grace for fretting about every small anomaly. Grace for letting your kids get away with it. Grace for lacking a schedule. Grace for your needed regimen. Grace for all the vagaries of food and sleep. Grace for your impatience, your anger, your disappointment, fear. Grace for not being enough. Grace for your apparent, unattainable grace. Grace for your ferocious and perhaps frightening love.
Anyway another Mother's Day has passed by pleasantly, and I wonder if that is why I am not keen on that holiday. So many pleasantries. Motherhood reduced to platitudes. When I look around at my family and friends, I see that motherhood is complicated and conflicted. There may be more peer/media pressure on mothers now, but I don't think our mothers had any less difficulty in navigating this fraught love. All children have the same relentless need for intense physical, emotional, mental, spiritual care, and every mother has to figure out how to meet that universal yet unique need and how to let go at the same time. There is nothing about this that is easy.
There are so many parenting books and disciplines. So many ways that people are reliving and improving their own childhoods really. I think you can apply a lot of labels to my parenting style. But I don't think that anyone should aspire to someone else's life. We actually only catch snippets from other people's lives. See their homes after it's been cleaned for company. Observe obedient children not in their natural habit. Or encounter an unkind tone, a frazzled moment. We are prone to judgements with limited information. And there is no actual solution to childhood. We just live through it, our own and our children's, hopefully with love and grace.
So, for Mother's Day and every day, I wish you grace. Grace for wishing that your kids would leave you alone for a minute. Grace for not organizing your life so that you have some semblance of adult time. Grace for not paying attention to your children at all times. Grace for fretting about every small anomaly. Grace for letting your kids get away with it. Grace for lacking a schedule. Grace for your needed regimen. Grace for all the vagaries of food and sleep. Grace for your impatience, your anger, your disappointment, fear. Grace for not being enough. Grace for your apparent, unattainable grace. Grace for your ferocious and perhaps frightening love.
Comments
Post a Comment