Entering the Danger Zone
I think I've mentioned before that I have vivid, visceral memories of childhood. Louie is now the same age as some of my earliest memories, and I have to remind myself whose childhood is whose.
It's strange to be not to be the plucky kid protagonist now. But it's vital to both our well-beings that I let him have his own feelings and experiences.
Many parenting books touch on the subject of healing from your own childhood. Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort comes to mind. I wonder what it would be like to emerge from childhood without burdens. If that's even possible. None of us are perfect, or even perfectly loving. And perhaps, part of the forge of childhood is that push and pull of your bond with your parents.
This is definitely not a "well I turned okay so any kind of parenting practice is acceptable" dismissal. I am grateful that so many different voices are lifting up the idea that children have their own rights and dignity and that many traditional parenting practices are being revealed as ineffective and perhaps harmful. But I know that the next generation will have its own take on parenting, an apt allegory for reinventing the wheel.
I am living for the moments when Louie tells me about his day, or some inventive project he's been thinking about. Sometimes he has trouble finding the right words to describe what he's thinking, but I know he's thinking far beyond my capacity for invention. He is wholly in a world of his own making. I am so lucky he lets me in sometimes. I am trying to be a good guest in his interior home.
It's strange to be not to be the plucky kid protagonist now. But it's vital to both our well-beings that I let him have his own feelings and experiences.
Many parenting books touch on the subject of healing from your own childhood. Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort comes to mind. I wonder what it would be like to emerge from childhood without burdens. If that's even possible. None of us are perfect, or even perfectly loving. And perhaps, part of the forge of childhood is that push and pull of your bond with your parents.
This is definitely not a "well I turned okay so any kind of parenting practice is acceptable" dismissal. I am grateful that so many different voices are lifting up the idea that children have their own rights and dignity and that many traditional parenting practices are being revealed as ineffective and perhaps harmful. But I know that the next generation will have its own take on parenting, an apt allegory for reinventing the wheel.
I am living for the moments when Louie tells me about his day, or some inventive project he's been thinking about. Sometimes he has trouble finding the right words to describe what he's thinking, but I know he's thinking far beyond my capacity for invention. He is wholly in a world of his own making. I am so lucky he lets me in sometimes. I am trying to be a good guest in his interior home.
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