Permission to fail
Lately I've been feeling really overwhelmed. Not just by the sorry state of our society, but also by the state of my apartment and my relationships. It's just all soooooooooooooooooo messy, and I'm not doing enough about it. I sort of feel like a failure. My kids get too much screen time. I'm not getting the
writing done that I'd like to. I'm short-tempered and irritable. I'm
hungry and too lazy to go to the grocery store with two little ones in
tow. What is wrong with me?
I've decided to let go of that burden. My kids are really young. We don't have enough storage space, and let's be honest, we're borderline hoarders. I am only one person. It is not my job to keep a perfect household. That's not even possible without help. Life is short. I'm not going to expend any more energy feeling guilty about "doing nothing" all day.
I'm comforting myself by thinking that my kids will see that things don't need to be perfect all the time. We have to let them fail and give them tools to rebuild, but they need to see our messy moments too and see our self-acceptance. In this way, I'm raising humans whose humanity will only grow.
Also, I'm pushbacking on the notion that I need to account for my time. Is every moment of my life supposed to be devoted to useful or strategic activities? You know, reading, playing, engaging with my kids their every waking moment. And then while they sleep, tidying up, cooking. Or if not that, then writing, organizing, volunteering, planning a more just society. Don't I want to be a contributing member of society?
Maybe we all need to reconsider what is necessary for a good life, or what a good life looks like. My life is valuable, no matter what. This is what I'm teaching my kids. Your accomplishments and conformity to societal norms are irrelevant to the value of your life. Your life is unconditionally yours and worthy.
I've decided to let go of that burden. My kids are really young. We don't have enough storage space, and let's be honest, we're borderline hoarders. I am only one person. It is not my job to keep a perfect household. That's not even possible without help. Life is short. I'm not going to expend any more energy feeling guilty about "doing nothing" all day.
I'm comforting myself by thinking that my kids will see that things don't need to be perfect all the time. We have to let them fail and give them tools to rebuild, but they need to see our messy moments too and see our self-acceptance. In this way, I'm raising humans whose humanity will only grow.
Also, I'm pushbacking on the notion that I need to account for my time. Is every moment of my life supposed to be devoted to useful or strategic activities? You know, reading, playing, engaging with my kids their every waking moment. And then while they sleep, tidying up, cooking. Or if not that, then writing, organizing, volunteering, planning a more just society. Don't I want to be a contributing member of society?
Maybe we all need to reconsider what is necessary for a good life, or what a good life looks like. My life is valuable, no matter what. This is what I'm teaching my kids. Your accomplishments and conformity to societal norms are irrelevant to the value of your life. Your life is unconditionally yours and worthy.
Comments
Post a Comment