On being woman-positive
With every affirmation I share about women's experience in the world, I feel a kind of internal pull back. That familiar nag that feminism is about trite tokenism and easily dismissed stereotypes. Do we need to hear about every female accomplishment that went unrecognized? Do we need to hear about every commonplace sexist put down? Isn't this patriarchy thing overdone?
There are valid criticisms of feminism. I'm always learning and thinking about how my personal experiences orient my place and position in this world. I'm willing to look at the world from other perspectives and give room to other people's authenticities.
But I have to question this nag I feel. The worry that feminism is exclusive, not friendly enough to men or women who may disagree with me. Well, consensus is not really the point of feminism. You cannot ethically have a referendum on the equal value of women.You either believe men and women should have equal rights or you don't. Then from there, you can choose your lens with which to view the world. I choose a lens that is critical of traditional power structures and institutions.
Conflating feminism with man hating or female self-hatred is old. We should be asking ourselves why we think that women standing up for themselves is a threat to men or not respecting them. Why would respect for men and respect for women be mutually exclusive? Why are we so defensive about it? When women bear a disproportionate burden of the world's violence, don't get equal pay for equal work, and are constantly reduced to their physical appearances, why do we need so much convincing that misogyny is real and at work everywhere?
Earlier this week, a statue of a defiant little girl was installed in front of the bull on Wall Street to draw attention to the need for more female representation in the upper echelons of finance. It's an admirable statement. A couple days later, someone posted a picture of some guy in a suit pretending to hump it. Of course, not all men would do something like that, but would all good men condemn it? Could we even expect them to? Does it fall into the realm of locker room talk and thus should not be part of the public conversation about how we treat women in our society? It's obnoxious but innocuous for a man to do something like that, but hateful and tedious for a woman to call our culture out on it?
I am happy to call myself a feminist. I am glad for the challenge. I like drawing attention to the positive and often invisible ways women have contributed to society and continuing the work of progress. It doesn't make my life easier, but I think it is more clear-eyed and truthful.
There are valid criticisms of feminism. I'm always learning and thinking about how my personal experiences orient my place and position in this world. I'm willing to look at the world from other perspectives and give room to other people's authenticities.
But I have to question this nag I feel. The worry that feminism is exclusive, not friendly enough to men or women who may disagree with me. Well, consensus is not really the point of feminism. You cannot ethically have a referendum on the equal value of women.You either believe men and women should have equal rights or you don't. Then from there, you can choose your lens with which to view the world. I choose a lens that is critical of traditional power structures and institutions.
Conflating feminism with man hating or female self-hatred is old. We should be asking ourselves why we think that women standing up for themselves is a threat to men or not respecting them. Why would respect for men and respect for women be mutually exclusive? Why are we so defensive about it? When women bear a disproportionate burden of the world's violence, don't get equal pay for equal work, and are constantly reduced to their physical appearances, why do we need so much convincing that misogyny is real and at work everywhere?
Earlier this week, a statue of a defiant little girl was installed in front of the bull on Wall Street to draw attention to the need for more female representation in the upper echelons of finance. It's an admirable statement. A couple days later, someone posted a picture of some guy in a suit pretending to hump it. Of course, not all men would do something like that, but would all good men condemn it? Could we even expect them to? Does it fall into the realm of locker room talk and thus should not be part of the public conversation about how we treat women in our society? It's obnoxious but innocuous for a man to do something like that, but hateful and tedious for a woman to call our culture out on it?
I am happy to call myself a feminist. I am glad for the challenge. I like drawing attention to the positive and often invisible ways women have contributed to society and continuing the work of progress. It doesn't make my life easier, but I think it is more clear-eyed and truthful.
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